As a counsellor, I often remind people that there is no single correct way to grieve. Grief is as unique as the love we felt for the person we have lost. While the pain can be intense, most people gradually find ways to live with it, allowing moments of meaning and connection to return over time.

Sometimes, though, grief does not ease. It remains raw, overwhelming and all-consuming, even many months or years later. This may be what is known as complicated grief, sometimes called prolonged grief disorder.

Complicated grief is not simply grieving for too long. It happens when the natural healing process gets stuck. A person may feel as if life has lost all purpose or that they cannot imagine a future without the one they have lost. There may be a constant preoccupation with the death, a deliberate avoidance of reminders, or a complete inability to re-engage in daily life.

It is important to know that complicated grief is not a personal failure. It is a sign that the loss has had a profound impact and may require extra support. This can happen for many reasons, such as a sudden or traumatic loss, the death of someone central to your identity, unresolved relationship dynamics, or cumulative losses over time.

If you suspect that you or someone you care about is experiencing complicated grief, seeking professional help can be a powerful step. Counselling offers a safe place to work through the layers of loss, address the feelings that keep you stuck, and begin to carry the grief in a way that allows for living again.

Grief changes us. Complicated grief invites us to seek support for that change, so that we can carry the memory of our loved one forward while also reclaiming the possibility of joy.